Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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