There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need water and some morals
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
