You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
