Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
