I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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