i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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