nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
