Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
BRING THE BAGELS
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
