i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
