Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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