I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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