He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
