the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize