I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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