my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
