we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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