you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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