I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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