I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize