You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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