the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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