found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
