We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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