i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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