its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Randomize