Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
