i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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