Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Drake has all the answers
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize