just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
