He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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