DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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