i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
