its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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