I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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