Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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