Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
