jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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