just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
