Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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