You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
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you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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