Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i think i just lost a toe
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize