drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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