I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm too high and old for this...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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