I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he's gonorrhea incarnate
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
