Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
