he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
