around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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