worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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