Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i dont even know how to be here
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
