are you so shy because you have an std?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
