Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
