so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
