That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She's JV to your varsity
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
