you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
i've created a new STD.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
