i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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