hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
