i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize