you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
