he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
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Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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