I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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